Navigating a relationship out in the open is already a challenge, but managing a relationship with an inmate brings a whole new set of hurdles to the mix. Some people make mistakes and others are caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, and that shouldn’t take away from their ability to find love. If you find yourself in a relationship with an inmate, be it new or old, you may wonder if you’re the only person they’re talking to. Are they really in love with you or just in love with the idea of having someone on the outside? Here are 7 signs an inmate really loves you and how you can tell.
1. They have open and honest communication with you.
Let’s be real here – jail is not a place where honesty prevails. No matter why your inmate is locked up, they are going to be spending 24/7 with hard, roughened criminals who probably lie more often than they change their underwear. It’s hard not to get caught up in your environment and change according to who you hang out with. Even if it’s not for moral reasons, your guy or girl may have to lie just to stay safe or get by. The real key to a true-love relationship in these circumstances is when the inmate can keep their romantic relationship open and honest. It’s about getting real with your conversations, including the good, the bad, and the ugly. If this inmate really loves you, they’ll share all of the hard facts of their life on the inside as much as the joys they used to have on the outside and what they hope for in the future once they’re released.
Check out: 15 Signs he loves you deeply
2. You have regular visits, and they understand if you miss a visit.
I’ve never been locked up – knock on wood – but you don’t have to have been to know that the highlight of most inmates’ lives must be visits from those they love. Just imagining spending every day locked in a room the size of a closet is enough to make you miss your mom or whoever brings you comfort and love. You can fall in love through words and phone calls, but you’ll need those in-person visits to solidify it. This inmate should not only want you to visit as much as you can but show joy and excitement when you walk through those doors. On the flip side, they should also be able to show understanding if you can’t visit because of a serious or urgent reason. Of course, I would never suggest canceling on them last minute for something frivolous; after all, your visit is likely the highlight of this person’s week or even month! But if your car breaks down or your relative goes to the hospital, this inmate needs to be understanding of life circumstances and supportive as you get through it. This shows a lot about how their character would be once they’re released, which is important for your future together.
3. They envision your future once they are released.
Speaking of being released, this is the ultimate dream of virtually every inmate. Speaking bluntly, most inmates just dream of being physical with the person they love as soon as they get out. We can’t blame them; physical touch is irreplaceable, AKA why we can’t do long-distance relationships forever. Even so, they should have more they are looking forward to with you other than Netflix and chilling. Do they talk about where you two will live? How they will find work? Whether or not marriage or kids are in the cards? What would your day-to-day be like with them? These talks should be ideal but also realistic. Inmates face a lot of challenges once released, especially on the job and financial fronts. If they’re open to talking about these things with you, even if those talks are brief, that is a good sign they feel the real thing with you. Real talks about the future may be difficult if they still have a lot of time to serve, but they can also be used as an anchor of hope for what your relationship is heading towards.
4. They don’t ask you for financial support.
There’s nothing wrong with sending your man or woman gifts or even money if they can use it to buy necessities while in jail or prison. It’s admirable when it’s done out of the goodness of your heart. If this inmate thanks you graciously but never expects or asks for financial support, you have a real one on your hands. On the other hand, if it seems like they guilt you into sending them money or things or act offended if you don’t, they may just be looking for an outside relationship to gain something from while on the inside. If this may be your case, you may also want to check out our video, “11 Signs He’s Using You for Money” to avoid this kind of person altogether.
5. They find ways to keep the romance alive.
One of my friends had a fiancé who was arrested and set for deportation a few years ago. The fiancé was essentially a prisoner in a holding facility until he was deported, and my friend visited him every chance she got until he left. While the meetings were sad, she would always come back home with a little gift from the fiancé. He didn’t have money to buy her anything, but another inmate had taught him how to make paper roses out of scrap papers he could find near his cell. This guy would make beautiful paper roses of all colors and stick them to a plastic straw. Honestly, it was a gift that would probably melt any girl’s heart, whether it was an inmate or regular Joe Schmoe who made it. If he or she finds ways to keep the romance alive with limited resources, that’s some creative love right there.
6. They are committed to personal growth for you.
A significant sign that an inmate truly loves you is their commitment to personal growth not just for themselves, but for the betterment of your relationship. They recognize that being incarcerated can block personal development, but they actively seek ways to improve themselves mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Whether it’s through education, vocational training, therapy, or self-reflection, they strive to become a better person for both themselves and for the sake of your relationship. Their dedication to personal growth shows their genuine desire to create a healthier and more fulfilling future together, especially amid the negative behaviors that they see in others every day.
7. They make an effort to overcome relationship challenges.
Building a relationship with an inmate involves unique challenges, from limited physical contact to restricted communication channels. If an inmate truly loves you, they will go above and beyond to overcome these obstacles. They will be proactive in finding ways to maintain a strong connection, like writing heartfelt letters, making phone calls, and utilizing approved communication platforms. They will understand the importance of trust, patience, and understanding, demonstrating unwavering support and commitment despite the difficulties. If they can prove that they are willing to put in the effort to make it work, that’s love.
Check out: If a man really loves you he will do this
Conclusion:
Dating an inmate is tough, but if the inmate really loves you and you love them, that love can overcome all obstacles. If you don’t feel you’re receiving the love you need from this person, why not start an honest conversation and mention some of these signs that you’re lacking? It all starts with being open.