The thing about cheaters is that they’re talented. They manage to trick the person who should know them the best and sometimes get away with their affairs for weeks, months, or even years. This isn’t done by just keeping quiet – there are some core things cheaters say to hide affairs and turn the attention away from them. Let’s hear the top 8 things they say today.
1. “You’re crazy.”
If you’re questioning your partner about cheating and they call you crazy, you are straight-up the opposite of crazy. You are the rational, logical, reasoning, and sound human being in this conversation. Your suspicious boyfriend or girlfriend, on the other hand? They’re gaslighting you. They want to minimize your concerns and make you feel like you’re being dramatic. This is not only manipulative, but it can lead to forms of emotional abuse and control.
Check out: 15 Things cheaters say when confronted
2. “We’re just friends.”
There’s nothing wrong with having friends. The problem is that when you’re really great friends with someone of the opposite sex, this is usually what sparks romantic interest. If not by both parties, by at least one. Even the most platonic of best friends could look back and remember at least one moment in the friendship where they would have considered taking a step into romance with the other. So, if your guy or girl keeps saying they’re just friends, but they hang out one on one all the time and seem to be more attached to at the hip than peanut butter and jelly, something is up. This is one of the most common things cheaters say to hide their affairs.
3. “You always want to pick a fight.”
Most cheaters are great at flipping the script. This means you’ll start the fight because you’re angry at them, but by the end of the argument you are the one apologizing. How did that happen? They find a way to blame you for the fight as if there is no real reason it should be occurring. This works well on really genuine and sensitive people who may start to feel bad and prefer to squash the matter before it gets any worse. Then, voila, the cheater is off the hook yet again and has you asking for forgiveness in their arms instead. Talk about a 180.
4. “You’re too controlling.”
If you’re suspicious about your boyfriend or girlfriend’s behavior, eventually you’ll let them hear about it. Whether you are asking too many questions or telling them how you feel about when they go out, the cheater isn’t going to like it when you try to rain on their cheating parade. If they start to call you controlling, they really want you to lay off. This is another blame-the-other-person and flip-the-script game. Careful, though. You don’t actually want to be controlling if they are innocent, so don’t become a PI with your questions unless you have some legit evidence to back up your suspicions.
5. “YOU’RE the cheater!”
Oh yeah, this one happens. The cheating partner is confronted and instead of fessing up they suddenly start saying that YOU are the sketchy one in the picture. This one is going to throw you off, which gives them time to think of an excuse while shifting the spotlight over to you for a few minutes.
Check out: Why do people cheat in relationships
6. “You’re confused.”
Other variations of this include, “It’s not what you think,” “Oh, you misunderstood,” or “It’s not like that babe.” All of these sayings will try to cast doubt on your perspective, making you feel like maybe you created a false scenario in your mind. This type of cheater has an explanation of why you are mistaken. Because they’re lying, they shouldn’t have too many details to share, so keep your ears open on this one.
7. “It isn’t a big deal.”
Maybe they were out late, smelled like perfume or cologne that wasn’t theirs, or you saw some sketchy messages on their phone. If they’re caught red-handed being shady but not actually in the act of cheating, they may try to play it down. You have evidence, so they can’t gaslight or lie their way out of it. The only options left are either to apologize and say they were wrong or to make you seem like a drama king or queen who makes everything bigger than it should be. Guess which option most cheaters choose.
8. “It’s your fault.”
Maybe your partner has been MIA lately. You have this big suspicion that they’re having an affair with a coworker, but you don’t have proof yet. The only things you can bring up are your suspicions and how they’re MIA. Cheaters won’t want to apologize and make nice, because then they might feel bad. Instead, they want to put that blame right back on you and find fault in you somehow. They may say it’s your fault that they’re always out or that it’s your fault they don’t answer the phone because you should know they’re at work or busy. No matter how they pin it, it never really ends up being your fault.
Check out: 10 Signs your partner is cheating on you
Conclusion:
Notice that none of the top things cheaters say include an apology. That’s because most cheaters will die with the lie – yes, that’s an actual saying – and deny, deny, deny. This doesn’t mean that every time your partner says you’re confused they’re cheating, though, so be sure you have some actual proof before cutting things off or confronting them about it. Whether you think your partner is cheating or not, what would you do if they said some of these things? Let me know in the comments! So there you have it, 8 things cheaters say to hide affairs.