You see her by the water cooler, in the break room, or walking in the parking lot. She is friendly – maybe too friendly – and you’ve got a gut feeling there is more to this than just professional chitchat. Maybe you’re even interested in her, but you aren’t sure if you should take the plunge and ask her out just yet. Before you do, let’s break down these 9 signs a female coworker likes you but is hiding it. We also made a video recently about how to sense when someone likes you which could add an extra layer to this investigation. Whether she is trying to remain professional for her job title’s sake or just isn’t sure if you’d reciprocate the feelings, we need to know what she’s thinking before things take any unprofessional turns.
1. She’ll never switch a shift if you have the same one.
Unless she’s literally in the hospital, this girl won’t miss out on a chance to work alongside you. She knows that schedule inside and out and she waits for the days when she can enjoy your company during those long eight hours. When I used to waitress, the first thing I would look at on the schedule after my assigned shifts were the ones that coincided with Nick, the super cute bartender I used to crush on. You can bet that I had his schedule as fresh in my mind as my own, and I probably put a little bit of extra effort into my look on those days. It made working that much more fun and, boy, did I love those shifts.
2. She’s your BFF when it comes to meetings and conferences.
If you have a weekly team meeting, an annual conference, or any other group thing happening at work, this girl will be your right hand, eyes, and ears. If you’re present, she’ll be quick to save you a seat or sit next to you if she can. If it’s an annoying and unnecessary meeting, you two will be complaining or rolling your eyes at it together before it happens. If it’s dramatic or even pleasant, you’ll be de-briefing about it the moment you two walk out of the door. If you miss the meeting altogether, she’ll have the recap waiting and at your service. This sign is relevant in all types of jobs where you work with at least a couple of other coworkers and a boss. You may even work remotely, but get messages from this girl before your Teams or Zoom meetings. We all have a meeting BFF, so who’s yours? Let me know in the comments!
3. She instantly notices if you call in sick.
Humans notice the absence of those they love as much as their presence. By the way, I appreciate your presence here today and would love it if you could like and subscribe to show solidarity. Anyway, during the week you might have felt under the weather, needed a mental health day, or flat-out played hooky. The bottom line is that you skipped out on work today and, apart from your boss, she’s probably the first person to notice. You’ll be quizzed on how you’re feeling, whether it’s during the work day through a text or email or the second you return to work the next day or week. If my closest coworkers don’t show up on a day that I’m supposed to work with them, I’m bummed. If that close coworker is also my crush, I’m pretty sad about it. If this sign sits on its own, you may just be her friend and she cares about you, but if you can pair it with at least five other signs on this list, you’ve got some romantic feelings in the mix.
4. Her emails are more personal than professional.
We all know the office lingo we throw into emails that we would never in a million years use with our friends. Circling back, following up, best regards, yadda, yadda. Even if your office is gen-Z friendly, her emails for you are going to be unique. She may add a cute greeting or goodbye, refer to you by a nickname, reference inside jokes, or add extra-friendly emojis to the mix to dance on the line between friendly and flirty – but definitely not formal. Speaking of which, she may have a special work nickname for you or even call you her work husband – that’s a big pointer in the right direction.
Check out: How to tell if a woman is attracted to you at work
5. She always finds an excuse to say hi.
When Nick worked at the beach bar at my job and I worked at the inside restaurant, I found every excuse I could to make the five-minute walk down and see him. Maybe we were suddenly low on napkins, I had to ask the bar manager something, or I just snuck away when my tables were slow. Even if Nick and I only got a few words in, I knew he saw me and I worked what I had to make an impression. Honestly, it was probably the most exciting part of my shift, and most girls would feel the same if they were crushing on a coworker. She’ll find any excuse to say hi, even if you work across the building and in a department that she never has to interact with – trust me.
6. She avoids you when she’s frazzled.
On any normal day, you’re sure to see this chick because she makes it a point to say hello. Heck, she may even sit at the desk next to you or work in the same department so it’s unavoidable. The big shift comes when she’s overwhelmed, flustered, frazzled, or just going through something tough. Unless you have a really strong friendship – which may possible – she probably won’t want to see you when she’s at her wit’s end. After all, it usually isn’t a cute look. This may be the only time you get attitude, or at least a little avoidance, out of her. She doesn’t want you to see her stressed, anxious, or not looking her best. Offer a helping hand if you can because she’ll surely appreciate it, but otherwise, stay out of her way and she’ll hopefully be good as new within a day or two.
7. She claims her territory when new employees arrive.
If a cute new woman has suddenly joined your team, this girl will immediately try to mark her territory AKA you. The last thing she wants is any funny business between you and another coworker. After all, if you date any coworker, she’s hoping it’ll be her. Marking her territory could be that she immediately comes up to you and starts a very friendly and smiley conversation if the new woman is in the room, mentions you a lot so that it’s obvious you two are closer than the standard set of coworkers, and maybe even asks the new girl about her personal relationship status or what she thinks of everyone to try and gauge if you’re on the new girl’s radar as well. Do yourself a favor and avoid any mind games or double-flirting here if you want to maintain a peaceful work environment. Remember that cute bartender, Nick? He did the opposite and flirted with the new bartender just to get under my skin. Did I mention he was pretty immature? Well, anyway, he even went on a date with her and everything, but down the line, he came right back to me and all it caused was problems. Needless to say, it really dampened my interest in him.
8. She gives you gifts during the holidays.
This girl is going to jump at the chance to make you feel special, but she’s got to be careful to not make it too obvious in a professional environment. The last thing she wants is people whispering behind her back or you feeling weird about being singled out. If your company does stuff like Secret Santa, she’ll cross her fingers that she gets you, but it’s unlikely. Instead, she may give you a small Christmas gift or a gift for another big holiday or even your birthday to brighten your day. This isn’t going to be anything big or expensive – it could very well just be a cupcake or snack – but it’ll put a smile on your face and that’s what counts. If she gets you and a couple of other coworkers a gift, make sure you find at least 5 more signs on this list she completes before thinking you’re the only apple of her eye. After all, some people just like to give gifts.
9. Other coworkers comment on it.
The cherry-on-top sign is when other people mention that this girl has a thing for you. Sometimes it takes someone on the outside looking in to make it clear. I’m going to fess up and say that my crush on Nick was obvious, and other coworkers made subtle comments to both him and me about it on more than one occasion. Of course, this didn’t surprise either of us because I’m not very shy when it comes to acting out how I feel, but it may open your eyes up to what’s been happening from an outsider’s perspective.
Check out: 10 Signs a female coworker likes you
If your female coworker has checked off a ton of signs on this list, you have a workplace crush going on. Tread lightly, as workplace romances could get complicated – especially if this is your career-oriented job and you plan to stay there for the time being. No matter what you decide, I wish you the best of luck and the most fun workplace experience.