He’s Not That Into You (5 Red Flags)
Picture this; You’re at a party, or in a new class, or at work. The hottest guy you’ve ever seen enters the room on horseback. Ok, maybe not so dramatic. But a hot guy does enter the room, and somehow you two end up talking. Not only talking but clicking. The conversation is great, he’s flirting with you and BAM, before you know it you’re texting all day and he’s liking each and every one of your Instagram pics. Could this be love?
Stop right there my friend. Before you let a guy take your precious, one-of-a-kind heart and stomp all over it like an elephant, you need to be sure that this guy is serious. Lots of guys may seem like the real-deal at first. He’s interested, he’s inviting you out, you can really tell he likes you. But then – maybe – we see some negative things pop up in between all of the love. Some red flags that we don’t like all that much. Red flags are no good. Red flags are when swimmers drown in the ocean.
So, the real question is, how can you KNOW if he’s worth investing all of your time, energy and emotion into? The best way is to look out for these 5 red flags that he’s not that into you.
Red Flag #1: He’s “just not ready for a relationship right now.”
He has to dedicate a lot of time to staying in shape, school and work has been crazy, and his dog might have low blood sugar so, you know, it’s just impossible to juggle all of that and a relationship. Let’s be real. If someone likes you, they’ll want to date you. They’ll make it work if they really wanted to. I’ve known people who were studying, working, juggling all of that and a social life, and STILL organized themselves enough to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. You are worth someone’s time and if he tells you this, he is saying that you aren’t worth his. So maybe really consider everything that I just said.
Red Flag #2: He chooses his friends over you… every time.
Listen, having friends is a great thing. In fact, it’s almost needed in a healthy life and a healthy relationship. Don’t be that girl who dumps their friends to spend every waking moment with their new guy. While having friends is a positive for any guy you date, what isn’t ok is bailing on your girl consistently for “the boys”. If he cancels plans with you – or worse – he doesn’t make plans with you unless he checks if his friends have something going on first, this is a GIANT red flag. Don’t sit there and hope that he’s going to change. If his priorities are always other people, and never you, he is making it very clear that this is how it is going to be moving forward. You deserve a guy who is going to make plans with you, with his friends, and even with all of you together. Not a guy who thinks you’re a “plan B” on the list of fun things to do.
Red Flag #3: He talks with a lot of girls.
Maybe he tells you he has a lot of girl friends. He just gets along well with girls, right? Let me give it to you straight, if he has just as many girl friends as he has guy friends (or more), something is up. Do you really want your guy texting Ashley or Katie or Jessica while you two are having lunch together? Do you need to have ten other girls giving your guy opinions on your relationship or saying what they think about you? Can you be absolutely confident that none of these girls have had, or have feelings for your guy, or vice versa? These are very murky waters, and 9 times out of 10 they do not end well. Red flag + Murky waters = horror movie. Don’t go swimming.
Red Flag #4: He leaves you on read.
Or he answers ten hours late, and with both options he gives you an assortment of lame excuses like: “Oh, my bad, I took a nap.” “Ran out of battery.” “Sorry, crazy day. Lol.” Maybe he even gave you these excuses when you can see that he’s been on Instagram, or Facebook, or Twitter. The worst. The list of excuses goes on and on, but all of them are simply that – excuses, and excuses are like buttholes, everybody has one, and they all stink. We live in a world where our phones are almost always within 5 feet of us. If we are going out, or going to take a nap, or going to be busy, it literally takes 30 seconds to let another person know. In these 30 seconds we can tell someone we will talk to them later, instead of dumping them mid-conversation with no respect. Don’t let him treat you like your conversation sucks. Your conversation is GOLD, and he should appreciate every message of it.
Red Flag #5: Talking to him is the same as talking to Siri, or worse.
Most of us have talked to Siri, Google Home, or Alexa. Sometimes we can get them to make a funny joke, or to respond sarcastically. Most of the time, they give us short and to-the-point answers. If his conversation is shallow and simple, something is off. A relationship consists of emotion, bonding and sharing personal stories. You need someone who can listen and participate in the things you find interesting or important. “That’s cool”, “Oh, that sucks” and “Haha, wow” are NOT examples of someone who is listening to what you are saying. Your words are going in one ear and out the other. If you wanted a boyfriend who responded like a robot, you should just talk to Siri.
These five red flags are a good indicator of whether the guy shows signs he’s not into you and if he really deserves to be “your guy”. Is he treating you with respect and dedicating his time and energy towards building something with you? Or is he treating you like the leftovers in the fridge, which isn’t what he would choose first when given other options? You are like the main course at a 5-star restaurant. Don’t let someone treat you like leftovers. So there you have it, 5 signs he’s not that into you.