How Men Fall In Love (Psychology)
Ladies, it’s time to put on your favorite face mask and light those lavender therapeutic candles. And gents, gather around and try not to get too triggered. Today we’re going to do a deep dive into a guy’s mind and outline how men fall in love, based some experiences, and absolutely unbiased research. So, sit tight and relax.
Generally speaking, there are two types of guys: The players and the unicorns. Now you might be thinking. What’s between the player and unicorn. There’s no in-between. You either got played or you didn’t. The unicorns are normally their first love and they stick to their partner until they die. The guy become a player when they have been through more than one relationship. Make sense? Because they’ve already played around. Get it. Okay… Anyway, each male archetype goes through a totally different process. The key is to realize that the players, might have a harder time falling in love when they have played over 10 different versions of the game. If you know they have a history of playing games, your best bet is to proceed with caution and use protection. But hope is out there! Let’s say you do find someone. While the process may vary in length, there are ten stages he will go through.
Stage 1) It all starts with attraction, or at least some variation of it.
The guy has to be somewhat interested in you physically or emotionally to even get the ball rolling. Most likely it’s physical appearance. Every guy has their own preferences though so I’m not judging. He may have an interested in you, but doesn’t have the courage to express it. So, thoughts just linger around his head. This will most likely occur for shy guys.
Stage 2) He’ll somehow be reminded of you.
Maybe you both had a mutual friend years ago and reconnected just now. Or maybe you had to work with him for an assignment. Or maybe he sees you every day or week on campus. In order for the guy to start the loving process, he’ll have to see you more than once. That should be obvious, right?
Stage 3) He’ll learn more about you.
It doesn’t matter if you two started out as friends, or if he already asked you on a date. Whether the romantic interest is present or not, he’ll slowly begin to accumulate more knowledge about you. Do you eat Hot Cheetos when you’re stressed? Are you a CorePower Yoga fanatic? What did you do for Valentine’s Day, last year? These could be random questions that’ll end up floating around in his mind, regardless if they’re useful for him to pursue you or simply things he wants to know about a new friend.
Stage 4) You become a more fully developed person in his mind and he begins to associate parts of his life to you.
It’s one thing to know a lot of random facts about one person, but another to address them under an emotional or personal context. For example, if he comes to the realization that you have the same kindness and sense of humor as his sister, who he has a close relationship with, he is more likely to be drawn to you as a person. This will only make whatever platonic friendship you have with him that much stronger. As he makes those connections, he’ll become closer to you on a subconscious level and this will show in your interactions. It’s at this stage that he may begin to realize that he’s interested in you in a more-than-friends type of way—if he hasn’t already.
Stage 5) He develops trust.
If you do a Google search, you’ll find that trust, honesty, and communication are some of the basic foundation of any healthy relationship. I believe in Google, and it sounds like a reasonable piece of evidence. Also, given the extensive interactions you two have had, he will slowly begin to let his guard down and vice versa. Again, there’s no definite timeline as to how long this will take, but sooner or later you’ll find yourself FaceTiming him at 3 AM in the morning and talking about things not even your closest friends know about.
Stage 6) He’ll talk to his friends about you, at least the one or two friends whose opinions he values.
From what I’ve seen, guys aren’t predisposed to speak in detail about their emotional side, randomly, especially pertaining to their romantic ventures. If he brings up a girl and says more than three words about her to his friends, it’s a good indicator that he is processing the very possibility that there’s a deeper connection. This may not be the first time they’ll be hearing about you, but the difference in tone of voice and body language is fairly apparent between a superficial interest and a more meaningful relationship. The fact that he’s willing to let his friends know shows that he thinks you’re a worthwhile investment.
Stage 7) He’ll internalize said feedback from friends and reconcile it with his own thoughts.
In the chance that he’s a little nervous or perhaps his friends disagreed with him, he needs to decide for himself how to move forward. He may also be in denial! It all varies from person to person.
Stage 8) He tells you “I like you.”
At this stage, he has finally expressed his interest towards you. This stage can take years, months, or weeks to achieve. This is also the stage where a lot of things could happen. Both parties will be on an emotional rollercoaster. There will be high points and low points that the he will go through with his partner. He will find himself in this stage typically for a few months or years until he is ready to move on to the next stage.
Stage 9) He finally admits to you that he loves you.
Yes, at this stage, he is fully committed to you and he is finally in love. But there’s another stage.
Stage 10) Maintaining the love
Assuming that it’s a new relationship, there’s so much left to learn about the other person as well as yourself because the mindset and dynamic of the relationship has changed. Hopefully, you’ll both continue discovering new things that reaffirm your original thought. This will allow you to reassure yourself that the way you’ve read this person is indeed accurate. The first “I love you” is only the beginning. It’s putting down the first brick in the foundation of the next, more serious phase of your relationship.
Overall, it’s important to learn and understand how to love. The idea of love is very different from one person to another, but hopefully after watching this, you now have a better idea of how men fall in love. Oh yeah don’t forget marriage. Check out my other breakdown of the different stages of a relationship.