Have you ever been stuck in a conversation where someone dropped a verbal bomb that made you cringe, laugh awkwardly, and secretly wish you had a teleportation device to get out of there? We’ve all been there, my friends. From the backhanded compliments to the passive-aggressive remarks, toxic statements have a way of sneaking into our lives, like that one unpleasant family member who always shows up uninvited. Life is too short to take toxic people to heart, so get ready to cringe-laugh your way through the 10 most toxic things people say.
1. “I never said that.”
Ah, the classic gaslighting technique. When a toxic person conveniently denies ever saying that not-so-great thing, most of us honest folks take a step back and think, “Wait… didn’t I hear them say that? Am I going nuts?” Fear not, my poor gaslit friend, for you are indeed correct. Toxic people are masters of amnesia who selectively delete certain conversations and experiences that don’t help their current situation. The craziest part is that they will die with the lie – yes this is a real expression I heard a toxic person say with my own ears – and won’t admit you’re right until there’s proof shown under their noses. Even then, they may still try to flip it.
My infamous ex once denied how horribly he behaved the previous day. He swore to me that he never behaved in the way I was describing and that I needed to give him an apology. When I pulled out a literal recording of what he had said – yes, this relationship was that toxic – he simply said he didn’t remember that and that he must have blacked out in anger. What an excuse, right? Toxic alert! So glad I’m out of that one. Save yourself, people.
2. “You made me act that way.”
The blame-game champion has arrived. When someone insists that you possess some supernatural power to control their actions, it’s almost laughable. The real truth is that we are each responsible for our actions and responses, no matter what happens. If you shove me, I can step back and away, shove you back, start screaming, or lay on the ground and roll around like a roly-poly. I could even start moonwalking in response if I wanted to; it is my choice. Toxic people prefer never to take responsibility for any negative actions, though, so you’ll hear this and they’ll chuck fault right onto you.
3. “You’re crazy.”
The good ol’ crazy card is another epitome of gaslighting. What a 5-star insult coated in dismissiveness, huh? This toxic person is trying to make you doubt your words and sanity as if you aren’t a normal human being discussing your feelings and experiences. It truly adds insult to injury and is meant to make you stop talking altogether. If you want to try and find out that someone is toxic before reaching this point, we have a video called “10 Questions to Get to Know Someone Deep” that may help you decipher who they really are before they show you through actions.
4. “Stop being dramatic.”
If you aren’t a paid actor or Shakespeare himself, no one should be telling you this unless they’re toxic. Your feelings are valid, even if they come with emotion due to the seriousness of the matter. Now, I will say that there are times when we normal folks are a bit dramatic. Sometimes it’s hard to control our tone or vocabulary when we’re angry or upset. The difference lies in the toxic person’s statement. If they are honest, good people, they may tell you to reevaluate the situation or to please calm down – although the latter may be dangerous to say. A toxic person, on the other hand, will simply call you a drama queen or king and roll their eyes. Same insinuation, different delivery, and different types of people.
5. “No one will ever love you like I do.”
This is a top poetic yet manipulative declaration of love. It’s similar to a back-handed compliment because it almost sounds like this toxic person is saying how much they love you, but underneath they are spitting out how unlovable you are. FYI, if someone needs to claim that their love is so one-of-a-kind and limited edition, it’s not. Love isn’t a competition and receiving love isn’t a reward. It’s time to let go of the fear of missing out and to realize that receiving love from your partner – and any partner for that matter – is unique and wonderful. This person isn’t the exception, they are average and you deserve their love and then some.
6. “I can’t believe I’m still with you after all you put me through.”
This toxic person is a melodramatic martyr. They play the victim card while simultaneously shaming you to make you feel like you owe them something for being there. Their memory seems to have conveniently omitted their own errors and faults in the relationship as if they were perfect. The truth is that every partnership has its ups and downs and sometimes we put our partners through the grinder, be it knowingly or unknowingly. That’s when apologies are in order and we reconnect and move on. Toxic people won’t let you forget your wrongs, though, and they’ll never remember their own.
Check out: 10 Signs your friend doesn’t respect you
7. “You’re so clingy.”
My toxic ex had a great habit of making me feel like I demanded too much. When I asked him to make plans with me on the weekends as I took a bus one and a half hours back to our hometown to see him, he would leave me hanging for his friends. When I asked him to visit me once in the whole year, he would whine and complain about how difficult it was for him and his schedule, even though I was the one working two jobs and an internship while studying full time.
All I wanted to do was see my boyfriend – I know, crazy of me, right? – but he would call it clingy and too much. Fast forward to my current, amazingly healthy relationship and the shock I had when we started seeing each other and the guy wanted to make plans almost every weekend. A boyfriend who wants to hang out? Amazing! It isn’t though. It’s just that the opposite is toxic.
8. “There’s no way you’ll be able to do that.”
Enter the casual dream crusher, armed with a bucket of doubt. This kind of toxic person will state your inabilities in a matter-of-fact way that sounds so convincing you may begin to doubt yourself. You’ll feel the energy and enthusiasm drain out of you as if they vacuumed your motivation right out of your soul. Some slicker toxic people won’t say it’s impossible directly, but instead, ask you about a bunch of logistics that start to make you second-guess your initial plan. Instead of falling victim to their negativity, use it to fuel your determination and prove them wrong. I believe in you!
9. “You’re overreacting.”
This person’s nickname should be the minimizer because they’re great at making everything you say and do sound so meager and unnecessary. They belittle your genuine reactions but don’t overthink it; your feelings do deserve to be acknowledged and it’s right to express concerns about what’s happening around you. This person would simply rather walk away than talk about wrongs that need to be fixed, so leave the burden on them and walk away yourself.
10. “You always ruin everything.”
Exaggerating Eddie or Edna will assign you the role of the party pooper and make you feel bad over nothing. Maybe you told them you didn’t like when they do ABC or that their XYZ behaviors make you feel a certain way. These feelings are valid. While mistakes happen and some individual moments can be ruined by emotional reactions, in reality, you do not have the power to ruin everything. In fact, I think you make everything better! You can prove my point by liking this video and subscribing if you enjoyed the content so far. Thanks in advance!
Check out: 10 Signs you’re becoming toxic
Conclusion:
At the end of the day, toxic people are like spoiled milk. They can sit around for ages in silence and seem harmless, but when they open their mouths and let out their toxicity, they’ll poison the whole room with their negative stench. Dealing with a toxic person is most effective when you can separate yourself from them. While doing so, remember to own your reactions, embrace your feelings, and keep in mind that you have every right to respond authentically.