Love is happy, uplifting, wonderful, and all the good things, but it’s also confusing. One small event, action, or word could build, mold, or destroy love in one swoop. You’ve clicked on the video, “He Still Loves Me,” which means one of two things.
1) You’re hoping he still loves you and you need signs to figure it out.
2) You know he still loves you, and you don’t know what to do about it.
This video and I have got your back, because today I have answers for both scenarios.
No matter which situation is relevant for you, there is a tiny word in this title that changes everything, and that keyword is still. If he still loves you, this means that something big has happened between when he started loving you and now, and it is probably something negative. Still implies that it would be normal or acceptable if he didn’t love you anymore, but somehow, he still does.
Let’s start with three big signs that he still loves me – or should I say you. Maybe you’ve broken up or there’s been a shift in his actions towards you. Something is causing you to doubt his feelings and you need to look out for signs that he’s still emotionally invested.
The first sign you can look out for is if he’s still consistently communicating with you. This isn’t always necessary to determine if he still loves you, but it’s a big pointer in the right direction. If he still loves you, not speaking with you will kill him internally, so he may cave and reach out to you. If he’s asking a lot about what you’ve been up to or opens up emotionally during these conversations, then it’s even more likely that he’s still feeling strongly about you. For those who have stronger-willed exes, you may see him avidly creeping on your social media. He’s still keeping tabs on you because he cares, although he’s not verbal about it.
The second sign to look out for is how protective and caring he acts towards you. Love should be wrapped between respect and care, so if he loves you, he won’t be able to hide these two feelings. One of my friends went through a breakup when we were younger, and we ran into her ex on a night out. This random guy kept getting in her space and wouldn’t leave her alone, so her ex jumped in and got involved. They reconnected that night and ended up getting back together down the line. I won’t say it was a happily ever after moment, but he did still love her on that day and showed it through his protective actions.
The third sign that he still loves you is when he keeps including you in his plans, whether or not you two are together. This sign may be more prominent if you’re going through a rough patch with your man. Maybe he’s distracted by other things in life or a negative event got in between the two of you. He may not be as lovey-dovey as you’re used to as you’re rebuilding trust, so you jump to conclusions and assume the worst. We’ve all been guilty of this before, right? Luckily, our assumptions are not always right.
If you two are still together, listen for any future plans he makes with you. Maybe he mentions a wedding you two will go to together next year or your life when you have a family many years down the line. If he mentions things like this, you can breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Ah, he still loves me.” His mind is still working you into his future and including you in his decisions, so his love for you is still intact.
Now let’s switch gears to the second possible motive for this video – he still loves me, so what do I do about it? This could happen in a few different situations, so let’s break them down together.
If he still loves you, you were likely in some sort of relationship in the past and aren’t anymore. You love him back, don’t love him, or are unsure about how you feel.
If you love him back and he still loves you, it’s time to decide whether or not your relationship is feasible. I’ve said it in other videos and I’ll say it again – love alone is not enough. I may love you, sweet YouTube listener, but if you’re 5,000 miles away and we never speak, my love will fall by the wayside. By the way, if you want to show this channel some love, I would love, love, love for you to subscribe and like this video to show your support! How’s that for love?
OK, now back to your situation. You both love each other. What is the concrete item keeping you apart? Is it a non-negotiable, like one of you wanting kids and the other standing against it? Or is it something you may compromise on? If it’s the former, you’ll need to focus on that fact and accept that you two cannot create a future life together in harmony. If it’s the latter, get to compromising and talk it out with him! You have the love, now it’s time to put in the work to make it last.
On the other hand, maybe he still loves me and I have moved on. He’s a good guy and he’s still trying to make it work, but I am just not invested anymore. I’ve been in this situation and it’s tough. At the end of the day, the best thing you could do for him is to respectfully cut things off. I dragged it out because I felt bad and all that did was make the situation more hurtful and upsetting. If you remain in the relationship or remain friendly, you are feeding him false promises that he doesn’t deserve. Don’t make my mistake – cut him loose and let the healing begin sooner rather than later.
Last but not least, you may be in a pickle and not know what to do or how to feel about him still loving you. Should you reignite the spark? Are you meant to be together? Or is your initial reason for breaking up still relevant and upheld today? These are tough questions to face. Before getting caught up in the questions, consider watching “10 Signs You’re Confused About a Guy” to see if this may be your situation.
There are some concrete steps you can take to work through these confusing feelings and thoughts. First, take time for self-reflection. Find a space where you can be alone and without distractions to think about this guy and the specific situations and interactions that you’ve gone through with him. If you can, write out a few of these with pen and paper.
Second, identify your emotions around these interactions and jot them down. How do you feel when you’re with him? What makes you feel this way? What about the feelings that come up when you think of him still loving you? Be honest about the range of emotions you are feeling. When my ex still loved me and I had checked out, I think back on those times and realize that I just felt sad about it. I didn’t feel sad about the relationship or myself, I simply felt bad that he still loved me, and that says a lot.
Third, contemplate your own thoughts and behaviors. Do you think about him often when you’re alone or busy in your daily life? What is it about him that you miss or don’t miss?
Fourth and perhaps most importantly, consider your values, priorities, and future together. Do these three categories mesh? Are there any intense clashes that always seem to make it to the forefront? These are things you’ll need to deal with if you choose to pursue a relationship with this guy again.
Finally, write down your thoughts, be patient with yourself, and consider seeking advice from a friend, family member, or third party, like a therapist. Speaking to someone about how you’re feeling is a great way to clarify emotions and ideas.
He still loves me, so what am I going to do about it? No matter what you conclude, remember that it’s ok to take your time in figuring out your feelings. Emotions are complex and they take time to work through. I know you’ll make the best decision for you.