Most of us can figure out how to flirt without reading a playbook about it. What a lot of us get wrong is the process of flirting. You know, navigating when to do it, how to go about it, and actually understanding the other person’s reaction and going from there. You may be a flirt, but that other person needs to be receptive to your style and approach. If not, the flirting is basically useless. You have the right tools in your pocket to get the flirting done, but now’s the time to work together and figure out how to use those tools in the best ways possible. That’s why today we’re breaking down how to flirt with a guy from the planning stages to the feedback portion and everything in between.
1. Know your audience.
If you’re trying to flirt with a super serious guy, it probably wouldn’t be a smart tactic to start cracking your best jokes in front of him because it just doesn’t seem like his style. This is what I mean by knowing your audience. Sure, you can flirt with a stranger on public transportation or at the park, but if you know who you’re trying to flirt with, think about what makes them tick. Is he a playful guy who enjoys banter and flirting in a group setting or is he a shy and serious type who would prefer you to show you’re into him one-on-one?
I used to flirt with a guy in my chemistry class called Brian. Brian was shyer than a snail, so I always kept our little flirtatious jokes low-key because I knew he would die of embarrassment if I did anything otherwise. If you aren’t sure about what his style is, opt for private flirting to get started. That way, you don’t cause any awkwardness in front of others or make him feel uncomfortable before seeing how he reacts.
Check out: How to tell if a guy likes you if you’ve never talked
2. Dress to impress.
You’ve figured out your flirting approach and you can more or less guess when you’ll have your chance, so now it’s time to prepare yourself. You may not see him exactly when you think so it’s important to put your best foot forward no matter the day or time, especially if you might run into him but aren’t sure when. You want to be consistent. Don’t go over the top and look like you’re dressing to meet the president because that would be too obvious, but definitely make sure you’re showered, have chosen your outfit carefully, and have fresh breath that won’t scare anyone away.
Remember my shy guy Brian? We only had chem class together twice a week, but I put a little extra effort in and dressed nicely every day of the week in case I ran into him on campus. Wouldn’t you know that we passed by each other at the library and while walking to the dorms on multiple occasions? And guess who looked good during each hello? Yep, that was me!
3. Do what comes naturally.
When you’re in the moment, it’s important to flirt as naturally as possible. If physical touch isn’t your thing, don’t brush his arm because it will probably come off as forced. You should be able to feel the conversation progress as the opportunities to flirt present themselves. If the conversation is rigid or the guy seems distracted, it probably isn’t a good time to try and be all cutesy. Read the room and be sure the possibility exists before putting yourself into an uncomfortable situation. Look for cues like his smiling, open body language, close proximity to one another, and the flow of good conversation.
4. Pay attention to his response.
Once you do flirt – whether this is by a compliment or touching his back or shoulder – pay close attention to his response. A smile is a huge thing to look out for. You’ll want him to continue to give those positive vibes to know your flirting was well received. In fact, if it was, he will probably respond by flirting right back!
5. Adjust accordingly.
If bro gave you the cold shoulder or turned you back into the friend zone real quick, it’s time to cut your losses and adjust accordingly. This doesn’t mean to be mean or cold, but just to tone it down a bit. The first time I flirted with Brian he basically stared at me like I had three heads, but I think he just needed a moment to realize what was happening. He was a shy dude, after all. The next time I saw him he seemed much more open and prepared to handle a little of my flirting action. So, just take a small step back but don’t take the initial response too personally. He now knows you may be into him and if he feels the same way he’s going to make it known sooner rather than later.
Check out: How to talk to your crush
Conclusion:
Alright, folks, we’ve broken it down into the basics. You’ve got your tools and you’re ready to build that love shack. Just kidding, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. But we are ready to flirt in the right way and at the right time. Let me know how it goes in the comments and be sure to add in any other tips you have in there!