Imagine you have two plants. One is in a garden, tended to with effort, time, and care. This represents a relationship, and it soon blossoms into a beautiful sight. The second plant sprouts on its own in a peculiar place, like in the crack of a sidewalk. It may pop a flower out or be pretty in passing, but it’s stuck in the sidewalk crack and will never blossom into anything more. This is a friend-zoned relationship.
At first, both flowers grow the same, but after a few weeks or months, there’s a huge difference between them. So, which one are we? Is he friend-zoning me or taking it slow? Does he like-me like me or only like me as a friend? Am I the weed or the flower? It’s time for some clarity.
By the way, if this particular guy is someone you work with, I also recommend checking out another video that could help called “How to Tell If a Male Coworker Likes You or Is Just Being Friendly.” Ok, now let’s get to it!
1. Is he inviting you to tag along or asking you to hang out alone?
I remember this one time I was into this guy, and we would always end up hanging out with our mutual friends. That’s great and all, but it doesn’t show me if I’m a beautiful flower garden of love or just a homie hanging around. We had a great time together, but I couldn’t help but wonder if I was stuck in the friend zone. I decided to take the initiative and suggest we do something, just the two of us. Surprisingly, he agreed, and from that point on our hangouts became more personal and intimate. It turned out he was just a bit clueless and needed a little nudge in the right direction. Remember – alone time can be a strong signal of romantic interest. So, if you find yourself frequently hanging out one-on-one, it’s a good sign that he might be hoping to be more than just a friend.
2. Does he give you tokens of appreciation or are his gifts backed by tons of effort and personalization?
Gift-giving can be a window into someone’s true intentions. Sure, we all love receiving presents, but the type of gift and the effort put into it can reveal a lot about how a person sees you. Is he handing you a generic thingy-ma-jig that anyone could get or is he going above and beyond to show you he cares? If he’s giving you thoughtful gifts that reflect your interests or inside jokes between you two, it’s a strong indication that he’s thinking about you on a deeper level. I once had a guy friend who surprised me with a gift on my birthday. When I opened it, it was a generic scented candle. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love a good candle, but it didn’t exactly scream “personalized and thoughtful.” We were just good friends and that’s where it stayed. What’s the best personalized gift you ever received? Let me know in the comments!
3. Does he jump at the chance to make future plans with you or does he tiptoe around them and say he’ll let you know?
When you bring up the idea of making plans for the future, pay attention to his reaction. Does he eagerly jump on board and start brainstorming exciting ideas together or does he seem hesitant and non-committal? For example, if he responds with something like, “Yeah, that sounds fun. Let me check my schedule and get back to you,” don’t be surprised if he never gets back to you. If he’s genuinely interested in taking things beyond friendship, he’ll be enthusiastic about making plans and won’t leave you hanging with vague responses.
Check out: How do you test if a guy likes you
4. Does he ask you deep questions about your personal life or just skim the surface?
When you have conversations with him, pay attention to the level of depth he explores. Does he ask thought-provoking questions that delve into your hopes, dreams, and fears, or does he stick to surface-level topics and small talk? A guy who is interested in getting to know you on a deeper level is more likely to ask meaningful questions that show he cares about understanding the real you. One of my best friends had a bad run with dud after dud in relationships. They were never invested in her for more than the weekend hangout and everything would eventually fizzle out. Then she met Jeremy, a guy who asked her thought-provoking questions and seemed to genuinely want to get to know her. It became clear after a short time that he wanted to be more than friends, and he went on to build a meaningful connection with her. They’re still dating two years later!
If he consistently engages in conversations that go beyond small talk and shows a genuine curiosity about your life, it’s a positive sign that he sees you as someone special. I’d like to ask you a meaningful question now – at least, meaningful to me. Since you made it this far, could you consider liking this video and subscribing to stay connected? You know I appreciate it!
5. Is he more consistent than most of your friends or is he just… there?
Consistency is key, people! Especially when it comes to deciphering someone’s feelings. Take note of his presence and availability in your life. Is he always there for you when you need him, or does he come and go as he pleases? If he consistently shows up, reaches out, and makes an effort to maintain the connection, it’s a good indication that he’s interested in you beyond friendship. A guy who disappears for days or even weeks at a time restarts connections from scratch, making it very hard to build something sustainable. A guy who’s there for you in the best of times and in the worst of times, however, leans toward date-y material.
6. Does he check in for important stuff or all the time no matter what’s going on?
Every person has a long list of important dates. They could be generic, like a birthday or favorite holiday, or person-specific, like the anniversary of a relative’s passing or an upcoming deadline or graduation. A guy pal will shoot you a message on generic dates but not on those smaller, lesser-known dates. A romantically interested guy, though, will go out of his way to check in with you on all dates, important or not. He will make sure to touch base and make you feel special, whether it’s the biggest Tuesday of the year or just another Wednesday.
7. Are boundaries blurry or well-defined with this guy?
Boundaries play a crucial role in any relationship, and it’s important to assess whether they are clearly established or blurred to see where the relationship is going – or isn’t. A firm boundary is shown when a guy clearly says no to certain things that could imply romance, like one-on-one hangouts that could be misconstrued as romantic. He is quick to say he can’t be your date to your cousin’s wedding, but that he can tag along with you and some friends to the theme park next weekend. These clear boundaries show friendship and nothing more. Blurrier boundaries are needed for something that can blossom into romance. This means there will be flirting, some very personal one-on-one time, and a lot of open-ended situations that leave you wondering if he’s feeling what you’re feeling.
8. Does he treat you like all his other female friends or do you see clear differences?
Take a step back, observe, and process how this guy treats his other female friends. Firstly, does he even have any other female friends? If he doesn’t, he’s likely open to something romantic because it would be odd that he suddenly wants a new girl BFF out of the blue. On the other hand, if he has a few female friends, now is the time to compare how he treats them and how he treats you. Look for signs of special treatment, such as extra attention, care, or a desire to please you. If he treats you differently from his other friends and goes the extra mile to make you feel valued, he may have deeper feelings for you. On the flip side, if he treats you in the same casual and friendly manner as his other female friends, it’s more likely that he sees you purely in a platonic way.
Check out: When a guy likes you he will always do this
The line between the friend zone and the romance zone is thin, and it’s easily missed by a lot of people. I hope you found some clarity today and can figure out this guy’s intentions to respond accordingly.