People have been studying the psychology of human behavior for centuries. Although there are still many mysteries to be solved, we’ve learned quite a bit about why we do what we do. From choosing friends to getting others to agree with you, understanding human behavior is key to succeeding in most aspects of life. There are tons of tricks, both conscious and unconscious, that can give you an edge in different social situations. In fact, you might have been on the receiving end of some of these psychological cues for years and never noticed it! So today, let’s go over 6 of these different aspects of human behavior and learn more about why we act how we act.
1) Attract attention by calling people by their names.
Most of us are guilty of exchanging introductions with someone new only to forget the other person’s name seconds later. Whether it’s nervousness or having the attention span of a goldfish, we’re just more prone to memorizing faces than names. This is unfortunate because using other peoples’ names is actually something that works to your advantage. Studies have shown that calling others by their name makes the interaction more memorable. It creates a stronger feeling of connection and makes you more likable and relatable. Not only that but in business settings, it has also been shown to command more respect and attention. So, whether you’re trying to make friends or lead a team, start addressing others by their name and see how fast they perk up.
Check out: How to earn respect from people
2) We only get upset over things that matter.
Most of the time, anger is a response to either fear or feeling hurt. It really comes from our ancestral need to get aggressive to stay alive! The truth is we only get upset over things that matter to us. Ten times out of ten, angry people are lying if they say “I don’t care.” Next time you feel angry, take a few minutes and sit with the feeling to figure out where it comes from. Asking yourself a series of “why” questions are good for this one. “Why am I mad? Why does that make me mad?” and so on. If you’re dealing with an angry person, hypothetically asking yourself the same questions about their reaction may also help you see another point of view.
3) If you want a good relationship with someone, stare at them.
Before you try this out, I don’t mean to stare at them from the bushes, nonstop, or through their kitchen windows. By stare, I mean make direct eye contact with them whenever you guys are in a conversation. Don’t look around, down, or at your phone. Stay focused on them. If eye contact makes you nervous, you can look at the point between their eyebrows instead – to the other person it will appear that you’re making eye contact, even if you aren’t! Eye contact during conversations has been shown to increase trust between both parties. If it’s a romantic relationship, it’s also been correlated to increased feelings of arousal!
Check out: How to make someone feel special
4) If you want to know more, say less.
When trying to get the nitty-gritty details or figuring out if a person is being truthful, saying less will get you more – more information, that is. When the other person stops speaking, instead of automatically responding, stop and wait a full three seconds. This 3-second pause at the end of someone’s answer is almost guaranteed to make them start talking again, usually disclosing more important details than they did the first time. Whether it’s a discomfort with awkward silence or a need to fill the void, humans are bad at sitting in silence, so use this to your advantage. And it’s good to use it when you’re trying to negotiate something. The more you talk, you might cut yourself short and end up buying something at a higher price.
5) If you want something, don’t ask for it the first time.
Negotiations have been a part of human interaction. As time went on, we’ve been able to record some laws of negotiation which go hand-in-hand with human psychology. One of these laws teaches us how to get something from another person. The key is to ask for more the first time, knowing you’ll probably get denied. Then, as a follow-up, you ask for your original asking point. The person will be far more inclined to give it to you because they will feel as though you’ve already made a sacrifice of reducing your initial offering to something small or easier to do.
Let’s say you want your sister to go to the post office to mail a package. Instead of letting her know immediately, you suggest something else that takes a longer time, like watching your cat for the entire day tomorrow. So, you go and tell your sister, “hey can you watch my cat for the entire day tomorrow? And knowing her, she might not agree to that term, so you offer her a smaller task to do instead. So, when she says, “no,” you can then follow up with your actual proposal and say something like, “okay, I’ll watch the cat instead, but can you run to the post office and deliver this really quick?” And 8 times out of 10 if she isn’t a brat, she’ll do it. I mean it works with my sister. Haha
6) You learn the best while teaching.
We all learn differently, but many studies have supported something called the learning-by-teaching effect. These studies followed students who studied a specific subject. One group went on to teach this same subject over by explaining it to other classmates, their friends, or family, while the second group just kept re-studying the material. The teaching group showed much better retention over time than the re-studying group. So next time you’re learning a new skill or studying for that exam, go over what you’ve learned with someone new. Ask them to lend you an ear for half an hour and watch your memory and skillset get stronger.
Check out: How to be kind
Conclusion:
Of course, there’s much more to learn about human behavior and to understand why we do what we do. Sometimes our actions benefit us and sometimes it doesn’t. The important part is to understand it and to use it to our advantage, build relationships, or just use it to prepare ourselves for the real world. And it doesn’t hurt to have a little bit more knowledge. So there you have it 6 different aspects of human behavior.
There is a guy I work with. He always makes direct eye contact when speaking to me and also uses my name.
I hate it. The eye contact is intimidating and I actually want to tell him to use my title “Miss xxxxx” as him using my first name feels over familiar.
I cant really do this because we have a focus on good teamworking and 1st names helps with this in general but in his case its a problem.
I’m not suggesting that there is any ulterior motive on his part. I just feel very uncomfortable with him and his very direct approach. Others may do this but with him its unpleasant.