It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s… your new relationship! You succeeded in opening up enough so that someone noticed how awesome you are, so you both took the plunge, and now you’re dating. Congrats! How exciting, how monumental, how… confusing. Right? Starting your first relationship is like learning how to drive, painting for the first time, or starting a new business. It’s all exciting and fun, but, how do you succeed or be better at it? What do you do when you get into a relationship for the first time? Unfortunately, we aren’t given a handbook when it happens but, luckily for you, here 10 things you can do to get yourself started.
1. Make sure your label is clear.
So, you’ve just got your first boyfriend or girlfriend… or have you? Did you and this person have a CLEAR-CUT conversation about your relationship status? Sadly enough, in this day and age, a lot of people assume they have a title with someone only to find out in unpleasant ways that the other person was not on the same page. Before you do anything else, please ensure that this person also believes that you two are in an exclusive, labeled relationship if that’s what you both wanted. If ones on friends with benefits and the other one is not. Ooo that’s gonna hurt real bad.
2. Set time apart to hangout.
Once you’re both on the same page, now you can take the first step to move forward in your relationship, and that is to simply set time apart to hangout. You are both navigating new territory, and it will be an adjustment to add a boyfriend or girlfriend into your schedule. Figure out what times normally work best for you and make sure that you both prioritize spending quality time together weekly. The reason why I said weekly, is because that should be the bare minimum you should do. If you’re not seeing each other that often, you might as well just get a pen pal.
Related: 20 Cheap date ideas
3. Learn about each other´s favorite things.
As you start to spend more time together, improve your detective skills, and start to pay attention to learn more about your new partner. What are their favorite things, hobbies, foods, brands? Make sure to notice the little things too, since this is what will make you different from all of their other friends. You should know your partner on a deeper level. Plus, this is a great way to come up with more personalized gifts for future events like birthdays or anniversaries.
4. Do NOT bring up your exes.
Even if this is your first relationship, you may have had some non-official experience with other people in romantic settings. No matter what those experiences were, it’s important to remember that the past is the past and that each person is unique. Do NOT compare them! It wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved. This is a new relationship, so treat it as such. But if they ask, you should be honest but don’t need to go into great details about it. I’m just saying.
5. Make your dates special.
Many times, people start dating because they were either hanging out casually or hanging out in a group setting with friends. No matter which scenario you’re coming from, it’s important that special dates continue in your relationship to always keep the spark and intimacy alive. This is what differentiates your “friend-hangouts” from your “relationship hangouts”.
Check out: How to make someone feel special
6. Set expectations and boundaries early.
It’s vital to talk about what´s important to each of you at the beginning of the relationship. Is there something in your eyes that would be a reason for an immediate-break-up? Let them know early on. You want to know each other’s guidelines for what is OK and what is not, to avoid hurting each other accidentally. It could be maybe because you don’t like spicy food and the other person really like spicy food. For some, that could ruin a relationship. So yeah.
7. Slowly introduce them to your friends and family.
Now, you might be all excited about your new partner and just want to show them off. But remember that they are your new partner. This means that it isn’t guaranteed that it’ll last a lifetime, at least not yet. Introduce them to your friends and family slowly. That way, if they turn out to be someone you didn’t expect, you won’t have the embarrassment of reaching out to every single person you know to tell them so. Plus, it might be overwhelming for others to meet the parents just after a couple of dates.
8. Have some personal time for yourself, too.
One of the biggest mistakes people make when they get into their first relationship is to dedicate 100% of their free time to their partner. You had a life before this person, and you shouldn’t dump that life because you’re in a relationship. Your friends are still your friends, and your hobbies are still your hobbies. Keep some personal time for yourself no matter how much you’re into them. It’s what makes you, You.
Check out: What are the signs that a guy is hiding his true feelings from you
9. Try new things together.
A great way to strengthen a bond between two people is through experiencing new things together. These memories are what’s going to form your unique relationship, and learning together is always an amazing way to connect while having fun! Doing so, you’ll start to build more things to talk about with each other and eventually start building more friends and interests later on.
10. Communicate consistently and clearly.
The most important, and most difficult, part of a new relationship is communication. New relationships are basically one big lesson on dating, and it’s normal to want to be petty or passive-aggressive at times. It’s hard to communicate when you’ve never practiced how. So, if there’s anything important to talk about, make sure to do it in person, don’t send angry texts or let things build up, this way you can simply get the point across without reading between the lines. When you’re in a relationship, it’s time to be mature.
Check out: 10 signs a girl loves you but is trying not to show it
Conclusion:
Overall, most importantly, make sure to respect each other. If you follow these tips, I’m sure you’ll have a good start than most relationships out there. And maybe it’ll last longer, who knows.