The ISFJ personality is introverted, observant, feeling, and judging. We all know what those words mean independently, but when you mix them all together you create a unique personality type with a particular way of expressing feelings. Knowing how to tell if an ISFJ likes you takes some skill, and that’s what this video is here to help you with today.
ISFJs – also called defenders – are modest, hardworking, devoted, and practical people. They aren’t wishy-washy or too big of a dreamer, which makes it easier to identify their feelings. On the flip side, they also aren’t grandiose or flamboyant, which means they’ll avoid grand gestures and yelling about their love from the rooftops. A happy, quiet medium.
When you first start hanging out with an ISFJ, you won’t be able to tell the difference if they think you’re just OK, nice, or absolutely amazing. That’s because their mild and unassuming exteriors always present as someone timid, humble, and with few strong opinions. While this isn’t necessarily the truth about their interior, their general display of feelings at the beginning of a friendship is mild at best, kind of like a piece of grilled chicken with only salt and pepper as spices.
Once you get to know them better – like when you hang out consistently and have opened up to one another about more personal topics – you’ll notice their inner passion and commitment start to come out in your relationship. This happens more intensely if they start to crush on you. You may notice the only time they light up and get excited is when you two are spending time together or notice the passion in their voice and eyes when you bond over a one-on-one experience.
Defenders aren’t one to express themselves by reciting Shakespeare or singing you a romantic ballad underneath the balcony. They aren’t even that great at writing their feelings down on a birthday card. Even so, you can find traces of an ISFJ liking you through the little things.
ISFJs are great at expressing themselves through smaller actions. They’ll be eager to make your life better and will express a lot of their love through acts of service. Acts of service is one of the five love languages; AKA how different humans express their love for others. Acts of service could be this defender taking something off of your plate, like helping you out with work or other tasks that would be unpleasant for you to do. They may also bring you dinner when you’ve had a long day. They’ll be quick to help you without being asked, which is a strong sign that this personality type is into you.
While a defender is a proactive individual, they get uncomfortable with making the first move in romantic relationships. They’re worried about getting hurt (aren’t we all?) and pay special attention to social rules that may prohibit outwardly expressions of love early on in a relationship.
So, you know an ISFJ. They have started to open up to you and you can feel the connection and passion when you two connect. They are quick to show you kindness, caring, and affection through helpful actions. You feel that spark, but they don’t take the step from friend zone to romance. What now?
Well, my good friend, the ball now falls in your court. Unfortunately, it may be your only option to make that first move. It’s scary, but it’s the only way you can grab that crush by the horns and try to grow it into something bigger.
The first move doesn’t have to be playing tonsil hockey with this guy or girl, but you will have to be respectfully up-front. Try reaching for their hand, lingering on that next goodbye hug, or simply asking them if they’d like to go on an official date with you. Get that head nod of approval that signals the final OK before you dive in for a smooch if you want to be safe.
If it all goes well, I’m happy to share that this personality type is a pretty solid romantic partner. They don’t call them the defender for nothing; they will be 100% committed to you and your relationship and will fight tooth and nail for you if need be. Get ready to receive their full load of time, energy, affection, generosity, and support. When you need a partner who will fight to the finish through thick and thin, an ISFJ is your go-to.
While the defenders have some awesome boyfriend or girlfriend qualities, no one is perfect, so I’ve got to give you some mini-warnings too. Such a high level of dedication from your partner will mean they expect the same thing back, and that’s a high standard to meet. If you don’t provide the time and dedication that they give, you risk hurting the ISFJ at their core which may create underlying resentment in the relationship.
Luckily, you know much about how to tell if an ISFJ likes you and what makes them tick now, so I’m confident you can positively progress a relationship with this person once you confirm they are pining for you. Also, bonus points go to you if you’re an ESFP, ISFP, or ISTJ, though, since these are the best matches for our ISFJ defenders out there.
What personality type are you? Tell me about it in the comments! Otherwise, good luck with your quest for love!