50 SignThey say there’s a thrill in the chase, but have you ever been huffing and heaving after a gym class race and felt a thrill? I sure haven’t, but maybe that’s different than chasing someone you’re into. You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do when it comes to love, so if your chick needs a little effort on your part, it may be worth putting on those running shoes. Here are 5 signs she wants you to chase her and how to do it right.
1. She puts herself down in front of you.
This one might sound weird, but it’s more common than you think. A girl may want to be pursued if she kind of digs at herself or straight-up says something negative about her abilities, situation, appearance, or the like. Some examples may be a girl telling you, “Oh, you’d never like someone like me anyway,” “Your way out of my league,” “I’m not even pretty,” “You’d never be interested in someone like me,” or something like that. You may be saying, “Wait, these are words that she needs, not me chasing her?” Well, you’re right. In this situation, she wants you to pursue her with your words. This means going against her negativity by uplifting her, telling her she’s valued, and highlighting her worth. She’s totally fishing for compliments and a little bit of love. There are two ways you can respond to this. The first approach is what you would do if you think this girl could be for you, accepting the fact that you’re going to have to help her overcome her insecurities about not being enough. By the way, we created a video called “You Are Enough,” which may be a great place to start with her. If this is your situation, you’ll simply reaffirm her value through words, but you may need to do so daily under multiple forms of contact. This means texting just as much as speaking, so you will be chasing her, but just in a different verbal way. The second approach is if you respect this girl but just don’t see it happening in terms of lovey-dovey stuff. In this case, you make a small uplifting comment but don’t go overboard so that she doesn’t get the wrong idea. Let her down lightly and with grace.
2. She mentions other dudes lightly and waits for your reaction.
When a girl likes you, she will mention other dudes for one of two reasons. The first reason is that she’s into you but isn’t sure about your feelings back, so she’s testing out your reaction when she lightly name-drops other dudes who are interested in her or vice versa. This means that you haven’t told the girl that you like her directly. If you have, she would just be acting a bit bonkers to try and make you jealous in such a face-to-face way. As a personal confession, though, I may have name-dropped a guy or two during my first relationship to try and get a reaction out of my ex. While I may blame it on a combination of being very young and emotionally immature, I also did it because I questioned his feelings for me fairly often, especially since we would always fight. I also didn’t trust him for quite a few reasons. It wasn’t right, but he didn’t do much to make me feel any more secure so the fights just kept up and that relationship didn’t go very far.
The second most probable reason that a girl would start mentioning other dudes in front of you is that she doesn’t feel like you’re really as into her as you say. Maybe you’ve told her you like her but aren’t exclusive or haven’t made any big moves yet, so, she is going to give you a bit of the green envy motivation to put in more effort and claim her as your girl. For some dudes, this will be a wake-up call. It’s time to put on your big boy pants and chase after her to let her know that she’s the one for you. Of course, only do that if you truly feel that way. If all this situation does is frustrate you or make you roll your eyes, you may not be as into her as you thought. In this case, why not let it go completely or have a conversation about what each of you needs if you want to try and move forward?
Check out: 50 Signs a girl likes you
3. She goes from 100 to 0 in her texts.
Everything seems to be rolling along smoothly. Jokes appear here and there and the conversation is pretty chill. Maybe you even hung out once or twice. Everything is Gucci – or so it seems to you. Have you ever thought one thing about a situation only to have another person have a completely different experience? Let me know in the comments!
I’m going to give you a non-romantic example of this. There used to be a kid that I grew up with from kindergarten through high school named Richie. Richie was a nice boy, pretty quiet just like I used to be. We would exchange pleasantries, and I thought that we were solid acquaintances. We graduated from high school, went our separate ways, and then one day as a young adult I ran into Richie at a party and Richie suddenly felt like speaking his mind. How shocked was I when he started yelling at me for supposedly making fun of him in middle school when I called him weird in science class? I am sure that I said this jokingly on only one occasion over 10 years ago and never again, but that was not Richie’s perception, and that doesn’t mean that either one of us is wrong. You may think it was going well with this chick, but she felt that you weren’t interested, weren’t really in it, or simply didn’t give a hoot. This is when she’ll go from 100 to 0 real quick and pretty much stop texting you altogether. She won’t exactly ghost you, because she still may give you one-word answers, but she’s waiting on you to chase her to get back that same enthusiasm because what you were giving was not enough for her.
4. She starts uploading or sending attractive pics.
Get your mind out of the gutter; I am not talking about inappropriate pictures. I am referring to pictures where this girl is all dressed to the nines, hair done, nails done, everything did. It could be a gorgeous selfie she uploads on a 24-hour story, a full-length beach or formal event photo on her social media, or even a cute little pic of her and her nephew or her dog sent directly to you via text. If this is a new thing for her, she is likely looking for your attention and is hoping that you say something to her about it. If you guys haven’t been speaking much before this, then this is her throwing bait to try and reel you in like a fish, but you’re going to have to start swimming pretty fast to keep up.
5. She used to be the one chasing you.
This girl used to blow up your phone, give you compliments, and treat you like a king. Maybe you got too comfortable. Maybe you took it for granted or thought she’d always be around because you are just such a hot tamale. The truth is that none of those things are right and she just got sick of you thinking you’re the bee’s knees, so she got all cold and started putting herself first. No more compliments and no more fawning over you. Just dry, cold responses and a new outlook on life. If you miss what you had, put on those running shoes and go after her – but know that you’ll need to put more effort in to keep her in the long run. She deserves it!
Check out: When a girl likes you she will always do this
If the girl in your life is special enough and you feel strongly about her, she may be worth the chase. No matter what you’ve been through in the past, know that everyone in a relationship – boy or girl – just wants to be respected and loved. I know you’ll make the right decision either way.
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