Things seem to be going well. You’re working, studying, and/or just living life and minding your own business. Then, one night, you rest that beautiful little head of yours on your pillow, and just as you’re drifting off to sleep, BAM! There’s your ex in all his or her glory invading your subconscious. I mean, seriously? You haven’t seen them in how long? And now they have the audacity to show up in your dreams? What’s that about? We’re here to find out.
Dreaming about an ex that you don’t talk to anymore can come about for many reasons, so listen to each of the following scenarios and see which one is most applicable to your life circumstances.
We’ll start with the most obvious reason you might have dreamt about your ex, which is because you thought of them recently. Let’s be clear that thinking about an ex doesn’t mean you’re missing them or necessarily want to reconnect. It’s completely normal to think back on past relationships now and again, especially if something you see reminds you of that relationship or if that person played a really important role in your life, be it good or bad.
I have a toxic ex who I haven’t seen or spoken to in a solid five years. We aren’t even friends on social media, but he will pop up in my mind now and again because I run into a scenario that reminds me of him or I happen to see a tagged photo of him through someone else’s Instagram. For example, just the other day I ran into my ex’s cousin. All we did was exchange hellos, but that evening I dreamt about running into my ex. I woke up and thought, “Ha, that’s interesting.” There was not much more to it than that. So, if you’ve been reminded of your ex recently, they may just pop into your subconscious because it’s a recent event – like that time I dreamt about running from a giant lizard after I visited a reptile pet store. The brain be weird like that sometimes. What’s the strangest dream you’ve ever had? Pop it in the comments!
Another dream situation could occur if you’ve been thinking about your ex in an I-miss-you kind of way. This is a tough thing to struggle with, so you may also want to check out another video we have called “8 Signs Your Ex Will Never Come Back.”
Now, when you miss your ex and dream about them, it’s usually prompted by one of three scenarios. The first is because your break up is recent and you’re still processing it. The second is because you’re in a new relationship that may be a bit rocky, so you’re reminiscing on the good of your old one. The third may be simply because you are just not over your ex, no matter how long it’s been. Even though these three situations are different, they all point to the fact that you haven’t fully processed something in your past, present, or potential future.
But what exactly is processing? In the context of therapy, “processing” refers to the act of exploring, understanding, and working through thoughts, emotions, experiences, or traumas that have been causing distress or difficulties for an individual. It involves diving into the underlying issues, triggers, and patterns of behavior to gain insight, promote healing, and grow personally. We could all use some of that, huh?
Some ways to process your true emotions around your ex include journaling about how you’re feeling, talking to someone about the situation to expand on your emotions, or just setting aside time in your day in a quiet place to sit and analyze how you feel, why you feel that way, and what you want to do about it. This is some deep emotional work, and processing is not an easy breezy process. When you start processing these emotions, you may even dream about your ex more at first, but – trust me – this is part of the healing for the soul and mind, and you’ll be able to move forward with more clarity – and fewer dreams about your ex – after you do it.
Moving on, we should note that just because you dream about an ex doesn’t mean you want to reconnect with them or should, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re thinking about them either.
The third reason you may be dreaming about an ex you haven’t seen in months is a bit more wishy-washy. I say wishy-washy because I can’t provide any scientific evidence that this is true, but I’m sure every listener can tell me some of their own evidence that this theory holds some weight. I’m talking about the idea that your ex is thinking about you, and that’s why you dream about them. You know when you’re thinking about someone and they suddenly call or text you out of the blue? That is the kind of wishy-washy yet very real stuff I’m referring to. Humans are connected on more than just a verbal level, and when you have a really strong connection with someone you sometimes hold almost a sixth sense of when they’re not doing well, or you happen to reach out to them just as they were thinking about you, and different cases like that. There is a chance that your ex has been thinking about you a lot recently and somehow this connection has come to light as your ex appears in your dream. Now, does this mean that you should go running and call your ex and reconnect? Absolutely not. Take this theory with a grain of salt because it cannot be proven, but it might just be where these dreams are coming from.
The final reason you may have dreamt about your ex is no reason at all. Sometimes, random things happen. Not every little action has a deeper meaning or significance. Tomorrow I might dream about being an astronaut when it has absolutely nothing to do with my past, present, future, or thoughts. If you feel like the chapter between you and your ex has closed long ago, you may want to consider that this dream is simply a fluke.
Dreaming about an ex can be unsettling, especially if you were doing your best to move on and remove them from your life. Whether you’re stuck on them or they just randomly appeared in your mind, the best advice would be not to mull it over too much. We can look for deeper meaning in anything, but at the end of the day, a dream is just a dream and only holds as much power as you give it. Feel free to think about the details of your dream and process your emotions, but afterward, focus on your real day-to-day goals instead.